Friday, July 9, 2010

I'm Getting Married

...he took a deep breath and lowered his head. Opening his eyes, he counted the bubbles as he exhaled. They popped one by one against the silver surface of the water. He stared at his reflection, who stared back with careful eyes. Even with the ripples he could see himself clearly...

In case you were dreaming for the past month, I'm getting married in three months, and I have a lot of planning to do. I don't really want to do all the planning. I just want to be married, not to get married. The being married is the part I want, I need. It gets harder to say goodnight when you know that he's the person you're going to sleep next to for the rest of your life... He's so close and yet so far away.

I am absolutely crazy about him, and I will be forever.

In other news, I finished my rough draft. It's a good step--and going back to read the things I wrote a few months ago, I realized how often I improve. It's a daily change.

-Tsira

Monday, June 28, 2010

Almost Done!

I am almost done with my rough draft. I may finish tonight, and if not, then tomorrow for sure.

It's been an interesting experience, writing everything all out for the first time. This is my fourth attempt at this particular novel, and my first success. Actually, it's my first complete rough draft of any of my novels. I, like many others, get excited in the beginning but fall apart halfway through a project. The end seems forever away, and the reason I was excited in the first place eludes me.

But now, the end is a mere conversation away from the end. The climactic battle is over--I referred to it as the 'Final Boss', and anyone who has ever played a video game knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's not pretty. The writing is terrible, horrible, no-good, and very bad. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth it, because now I have something to work with. I have something to mold and tear to shreds and use to create a real, solid story.

The plot and characters have transformed since I first played the game where Tsira, Octras, Shenra, and Jake were born. I was in the fifth grade. And now I'm all grown-up, and my characters have grown, too. I still remember how they started, how the story has changed. And I lost some characters and some interesting scenes, but I think I can finally say I know how this story needs to be.

Well, good luck in all of your goals. I'll be in revising mode soon.

-Tsira

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Summer Reading

The wind picked up and thunder gurgled another warning. Octras was ahead of the others now, his weight making him slide farther than the others with every step. It didn’t help now that the air was stirring. Wind beat against the mercenary’s back, forcing him forward, bidding him to do nature’s will. He took a few steps and squinted, fighting his tangled bangs and the air for control of his sight. It howled as it tore past him and suddenly died.

Well, I've been reading a few interesting books. I still need to read the book Valerie gave me; Jaron read it a while ago while I was working on another book, and I somehow forgot about it. Of course, I feel bad, knowing that Valerie loved it, and even wrote me a personal note that stuck in the first page.

But I did read The Last Dragonlord by Joanne Bertin, which was interesting and character-driven. I think high fantasy often relies too heavily on the plot for its story, but this was... subtle. Much of the story happened slowly, naturally, while the characters followed logical courses of action. It was an entertaining read and I felt like I wrote better while I was reading it.

I'm also reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman now. I was shocked at the amount of needless swearing at the beginning, but I do love his writing, and the main character, Shadow, is intriguing and full of mystery. The concept is brilliant, and Gaiman's storytelling is powerful. I do need to warn some of my friends, though, the book is very adult.

Anyway, work is over for the summer, and I have lots of wedding planning to do.

-Tsira

Saturday, April 10, 2010

News Almost Always Sucks

“I’ll grow this garden just for two
In golden splendor, violet and blue
When you return they will bloom
And I will kiss your hands

You’ve traveled far to make things right
Long the days and lonesome nights
When you return, the candles we’ll light
And I will kiss your hands…”

I don't like being informed about things going on in the world. Sometimes I think, "I should find out what's going on, because I haven't looked in so long..." but when I read the paper, watch the news, or browse the internet, I say, "Oh, yeah, nothing has changed. The world still sucks."

I read the paper and found out about a lawsuit over someone dying after police hit him with tasers. I watched the news and there's murders, tension over homosexuality, abortion, and other sensitive topics, and there are people who hate others without really knowing anything about them except that they're a different religion or race.

I browse the internet and find that people are suddenly angry about those in the Faroe Islands who hunt whales, porpoises, and dolphins, and have been doing so for hundreds of years...

It's all just so petty and stupid. Why is this what happens all the time? I know... it's because we're still selfish, we're still stubborn, we're still offended, and we still don't understand one another. You'd think that we'd learn from our mistakes and get along... but even with past as it is, we all think that we are exceptions to the rule. Well, we can't all be exceptions.

-Tsira

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I Still Play Starcraft

“All right, show me what you can do. We need a place to start."

Jake fought with the air, his invisible enemy, flailing around like most children would. His arms too far from his body, he swung, wide and clumsy. Only using his wrists for strength, Jake attacked a weed, finally striking the ground. Even without an opponent, Octras could see that Jake would have fought the weapon instead of the man wielding it.

Well, blog, it's been a while. Work keeps me busy, as usual, but this week is Spring Break, so I'm home for the rest of the week. It will give me plenty of time to work on things that have been neglected, such as my book, artwork, and music.

I started to write a lullaby last night. Well, sort of. It has some different chord progressions, but it is something to send a baby to sleep. I just wish I had a child to sing it for. I know I'm not physically or financially ready to have my own baby, but with all of my married siblings having kids this year, I feel kind of... left out. I should be married already, but the money in the world (which I detest) states that I can't do it, especially because my job may not exist in the near future--it depends on how many children need special help. Even if I did get to keep it, I wouldn't be working during the summer, and I'd probably die of stress overload by the time I turn 25.

...Anyway. My creative slump is hopefully over. I've managed most of life's problems and can safely say that I feel much better. When I feel well, I write well. When I write well, all my other pieces usually fall into place.

I recently played through the original Starcraft campaign and the expansion, Brood War. While I admit that I cheated (come on, seriously, I got sick of the nuclear bomb warnings while a slew of invincible Protoss guys were keeping my armies busy) on a few of the boards, I still find it a fun and exciting adventure with a complex plot. I can definitely say that I'm excited for Starcraft II, which is supposed to come out some time this year. From what I've seen, the game looks beautiful, and the varied structure of the boards should break the monotony that exists in the first Starcraft game. I give it four out of five stars on my anticipation levels. The only other game I'm really looking forward to playing is the next Final Fantasy (as soon as I can get a PS3)...

Thus ends March of the year 2010.

-Tsira

Thursday, February 11, 2010

After an Absence

Morning came all too quickly. Sunshine blared through the window, making his eyelids seem red. He didn't dare open his eyes, knowing the burn that would inevitably follow. Every muscle ached, and even his old scars felt new. He rubbed his chest; it felt so cold--the seasons were changing rapidly. He lifted one swollen hand to his face. A tiny ridge beneath his eye was all that remained of his last mission. Drawing his arm over his red vision, he turned away from the light. He had not felt this sluggish in months. Never had a dream been this exhausting.

After many weeks of inactivity, I return. My job is a very fulfilling one, where I feel like I'm serving a great purpose. I feel terrible about being a few minutes late every day--it's usually less than five minutes, but still... my supervising teacher is really nice about it, too. I just feel so bad that I can't manage to make it on time, no matter when it is I wake up or if my ride arrives on time.

When I get up to go to work in the morning, sometimes there's that little bug in the back of my head that goes, "not this again," but every time I find myself thinking that, I am reminded how much those kids mean to me and how lucky I am to be there working with them.

My writing faileth because my work is so exhausting that when I come home I don't feel like doing anything. I hope to remedy this--I just moved into a new room and should sleep much better, wake up earlier, and have time to do things in the morning before rushing off to the school. If I'm getting better sleep, I should be able to be more active in the evening as well.

My day, verse 12: And it came to pass that she went to the school and there worked, for the space of many hours, until she was very tired; and when it came time for lunch she was grateful that she was not working over lunch recess.
13: And verily, the children cried that day, even half of all the class cried.
14: And at P.E., the Aide was attacked from behind, being stricken by a young man's head thus, even two times, until she was distraught herself; and she was astonished by the young man's actions.
15: And yea, verily, she had to go to her favorite fast-food place in order to console herself; when she had received her food, she cried out with a loud voice, saying, "No! They got my order wrong!"
16: And thus was the girl's day uneventful, until the coming of her boyfriend on the date of his birth. And there was much rejoicing in the land.

Blasphemous, I know. But it's fun.

-Tsira