Saturday, May 14, 2011


She had neither the will nor the breath to respond. Everything she was felt wrong; her body felt torn on the inside. She sputtered a bloody cough, twisting to escape the dead face that looked at hers.

"My very own death knight. How delightful," the male voice said. "I hope you don't mind, dearest, but we'll have to take your memory of this. For your own sanity."


Can't see the cursor for some reason... so annoying...

I started reading Valerie's book, "Adventures in Pokti", today. One thing I've noticed a lot with this book is the way that she captures so perfectly the way that children behave. I work with them every day, so even though I don't have any of my own yet, I see the way that their minds work. Granted, the children I work with have a disadvantage in society, but it's a lot like the way my nieces and nephews behave, so... anyway, I love the innocence, the carefree way that the characters behave even in real danger.

Things like, "She's really evil, and nobody likes her," or "Did the evil people leave so I can go outside and play?" They're so cute, and so naive. It makes me laugh because it's so true to life.

Well, my novel has passed hands again, as of Wednesday. This will be the third person to read it... lessee, next is Valerie, then Barbara... and so on. This process is almost driving me crazy, since I won't be reading any comments on it until everyone on the list has read it. But I still feel that it's the best way to go about it. I'm just extremely impatient.

In the meantime, I've gathered up some ideas for a second and possibly even third story set in this world. I just have so much to work with, but so much to clean up. My idea pool is messy, and the gathered sections of information are so random in their placement. For instance, I was thinking today about these new ideas, and suddenly Rael was telling Octras to hit her. He said, "Why would you want me to do that?" and she smiled and said, "Because it feels good, you idiot." Delicious to my starving brain.

Well, on the life spectrum, things are going pretty well. I had food poisoning last week, but that went away the next day, and now my allergies are acting up again. I'm a little self-conscious about it because of kids going "What's wrong with your eye, Mrs. Rachel?" and I worry that there's snot hanging out of my nose that everyone can see but they're too nice to tell me so. But it's not a big deal.

There's only a few days left before summer vacation, but I haven't found a job. I didn't really expect to, since there are so many people who are much more qualified but out of work. And I do have a job... just... not one that I could do forever. At first I wasn't sure I could do it at all. Teach. Apply. Repetition. Frustration. Snot.


But I still don't want it as a career. If I'm going to have my own children, I don't want to deal with other people's children whenever I'm away from mine, you know? It would just be too stressful. I admire the people who can do it--almost all of the people I work with are women, and some of them have kids that age... gah. Can't even think about it. Brain explodes.

The best thing would be to do what I love most: writing. But I know that it's unlikely. Even if a publisher picks up my book, there's no instant success button. It's a lot of work even after it's published--I have to sell it to everyone. To anyone. I have to be outgoing, and I am naturally very shy. But... I want it so badly. I need to share these ideas that have built up inside of me.

Jaron isn't really sure what he wants yet. I think the biggest problem is the way that school is set up now. Colleges expect students to be "well-rounded" but we just aren't that kind of people. Jaron and I are very much alike, which led to both of us failing at college in the first semester. I kind of quit trying after a very hard teacher made keeping my scholarship impossible. Jaron keeps trying. And finally, he's had a little success, in Japanese.

As for the route he'd have to take in order to become a video game designer, I worry. When he is interested in something, he goes all out... but if it doesn't appeal to him, no amount of trying will amount to any success. He just doesn't fit in the system. His interest is very specific, and he's managed to read entire programming manuals and write scripts for his own little games, but... calculus? film? There's little chance. If he can't be happy doing something, he can't do it at all.

Well... I'm feeling pretty tired. Peace.


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