Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Hookers and Hangers

I missed the first day of the bloghop over at Falling for Fiction, Hookers and Hangers, but I still wanted to participate. The basic idea is that you post some hookers (the first lines of your MS chapters) and some hangers (the last lines of your chapters). Since I'm still working on my rewrite, I'll only post a couple. But this should be fun.

Hookers
  1. The air was rancid with the stench of ale.
  2. A strange melody greeted the mercenary's ears as he shook himself awake.
  3. Crescent  was rightly named, as the high white walls curled around the city in a half-circle.
  4. "Vvelwe-is jash yimn, ni shenra wjero pana ero. Rijn nania ykakimn, ni aesj swin tana maomo."
  5. Octras had never seen so many spices on one piece of meat; he wasn't sure what animal it had come from.
  6. A distant scream pierced his thoughts.
We'll stop there.

Hangers
  1. He shook his head as he followed, wondering what in heaven or hells he had agreed to do.
  2. "Rest well, milady."
  3. Metal scraping stone, rhythmic hammering, and the great breath of giant bellows beat against his thoughts, and he forgot the hollow feeling in his chest.
  4. The man turned the corner and was gone, leaving Octras alone with his doubts.
  5. Cyreth traced the scar on his cheek, nudging Octras. "Ready?"
  6. He was not going to fail. Not again. Never again.
I'm excited to make the rounds and see what everyone else came up with! :)

-Tsira

33 comments:

  1. OOH! Fabulous lines! Loving 1 and 6 of the hangers and 1,5 and 6 of the hooks! lol. They're all great, but those are my favorites!

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  2. I really like your writing style! Well done!

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  3. Well done! Your voice is clear. These definitely all go together well, set the mood. Good job!

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  4. I liked hook #1 the best... must be some bad ale...

    and I liked your #1 hanger best as well :)

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    1. Octras is pretty biased against any sort of alcoholic drinks... bad experiences, you know...

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  5. I think your fourth hooker is the first I've seen in another language. Whatever it means, it sounds cool. :)

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    1. It's two lines of a poem. In English, "The winter's chill is coming, and the flowers have all but gone, the leaves begin begin to fall, and night draws e'er more long."

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  6. Hey, it's neat to actually bounce back and forth between the start and end of each chapter (at least I hope that's how this is set up?!) If the number align, then Chapter 6 sounds AWESOME. I want to know what happens between the scream and the vow. (I hope I'm not out to lunch and these are just random lines... they're good either way though)!

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    1. Yeah, they're in chapter order. And Chapter six is kind of a turning point in the story. :)

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  7. These were all great! I really liked the stench of ale, the new language one (would make me want to find out what was being said), and the meat.

    Your hangers rocked, too. I like the first one the most. And then the not failing, again.

    Also, I see you live in Utah. Is it nice there? My sister is moving to Salt Lake City for school in the next week or so. I'm nervous for her...

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    1. Thank you!

      Utah is pretty awesome. The weather is too hot in summer and too cold in winter, but there aren't many bugs. The environment is like 60% Mormon, which can be both a good thing and a bad thing, depending on the circumstances. But it's pretty here, and people are especially supportive of the creative arts. We even have a ton of community-sponsored writing groups.

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  8. Ooh, love the idea of sharing first and last lines. All the hookers and hangers you shared were great! I'm especially intrigued by the fourth hook. I can't help but wonder what the translation is, and even what the language is!

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    1. It's called Ersjaran, which basically translates to "white." And it's a poem, actually, about the changing of seasons. :)

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  9. All your opening lines have good sensory detail (with the possible exception of #4). I especially like the crescent walls and the spices in the meat.

    Your ending lines have nice, clean writing. Sometimes writers try too hard with the ending lines, or leave them blah.

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  10. Great hookers and hangers! #3 hanger is my favorite :)

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  11. These are great! I love your opening line. It gives me a sense straight away of the type of book we are in for. I also like your third hanger - so descriptive. And I'm in awe of writers who can invent a whole new language!

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    1. You don't need to be in awe! I've been making up random gibberish since I was a kid. I've just channeled it into making sense--especially thanks to a class I attended at LTUE which was like Linguistics 1010 in four hours.

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  12. Thanks, everyone! I'm stunned by all the positive feedback. Thank you so, so much.

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  13. They are all great, but I have chosen hooker 1 and hanger 3.

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  14. I haven't read the their comments so I don't know what others have said...but I am choosing Hooker and Hanger #6. Both are great:)

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  15. I think my favorite hanger is #6, but I'm having a hard time narrowing the hooker field down. I'm torn between #1, #5 and #6. Great job!

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  16. Excellent hooks and hangers. I glad I'm not the only one who jumped onboard a bit late :-) My favorites are the hooker for 4 (I love invented language) and the hooker and hanger for 6.

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  17. I think I like 6 best on both counts. These are great. I actually like seeing them in the same post. Very interesting!

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  18. These are great - I really love your writing style. And from what little I've seen here, it seems you do well at getting inside a man's head :)

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    1. Haha, that's probably the thing I worry about the most about this book. It's nice to have my husband around to lean on so I don't get too discouraged, though. :P

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  19. These are all great and I really want to know what is said in the made up language. Great job!

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  20. You're writing is stunning. And I am TOTALLY impressed with your language :)

    This is my favorite:
    Metal scraping stone, rhythmic hammering, and the great breath of giant bellows beat against his thoughts, and he forgot the hollow feeling in his chest.

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  21. Hookers and Hangers in one post? Awesome! Great stuff, Rachel. :)

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  22. I like that you put these together in one post?

    Did you make up your own language for your book? I'm completely in awe of people who do that. I'd love to read a post on it sometime! You have such a wide array of creativity, Rachel :)

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    1. Yes, I did. A couple of others asked about the same thing in this post, but I'll say it again anyway, it's called Ersjaran, and the lines here are from a poem about the seasons changing.

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  23. This is a great style to write! Thanks for sharing! I really like your style of writing.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  24. Again, thank you everyone. Your comments make my day. :)

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