Sunday, August 12, 2012

Ersjaran Poetry

It's been difficult to make my rewrite into everything I want it to be. There are already some things that I want to fix--mostly to do with the fact that it's autumn at the time it starts; the leaves are changing colors, the air is colder, and farmers are traveling in the opposite direction as Octras and Tsira. Stuff like that.

What I've really liked about the rewrite is harder to pin down. Their interactions, particularly, and the way Tsira has been portrayed. One of her most identifiable habits is quoting stories and poetry. She has a deep love for the written word, and the way that it sounds when spoken aloud. And because she's bilingual, a lot of what she says makes double the work for me. Writing poems in Ersjaran is très difficile. (Or in Ersjaran, tsuk tana.)

But the result is something I find quite beautiful.

oake ni aoke
thelao andao-is
oandaomn fuj snefe
aomn lo ehioris

peria-is a cathela
ni nomaria dejthi
pana ris vit rastmn
lo tetasimn ari

inward and outward
the tides are my breath
inhaling through nostrils
exhaling with depth

my face is the ocean
and eyes are the clouds
but right now it's pouring
with pattering sounds

-Tsira

5 comments:

  1. It sounds lovely You have a talent with poetry.

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  2. The poem is beautiful. I think it's worth the extra effort. Plus, I think you're re-write is turning out great!

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  3. It's really impressive that you created your own language, especially one that sounds so pretty. Your rewrite really is going well, and even if there are things you'd still like to change, I think you're getting the most important stuff right. The characters are coming through better than ever, and that's awesome. Keep it up. :D

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  4. Hmm. The first paragraph reminds me of Inuit (not that I've studied it; just what I've heard in movies and on TV). The second paragraph sounds like something out of Tolkien. I think Professor Tolkien would like it.

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  5. Thank you so much, you guys. :)

    Mark--interesting that it seems like that. Tolkien was a master of Linguistics, and I'm thrilled to receive such a compliment! Thank you!

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